The Heartbreak of Haruhi Suzumiya
by Goombario Jr
Summary: I thought she was just the annoying SOS Brigade leader, and nothing more. Apparently, Haruhi had other ideas. -RATING WILL CHANGE.-
1. Chapter 1

So yes, I've jumped on the Haruhiism bandwagon. I hope I haven't angered you. Anyway, I've always somewhat liked Haruhi and just a few days ago I finished the first novel and felt like writing something of my own. First-person is new to me, but I think I've pulled it off decently enough. See the bottom for more notes and a shameless plug.

--- Chapter 1 ---

I know I've said this before, but it feels like this whole SOS Brigade thing has become a daily thing to me, maybe even something to look forward to. It had been quite a while since Haruhi had started it, and even though it I should be used to all of her half-brained ideas, it seemed that with every new thing she brought up, I was even more amazed.

This particular venture wasn't anything out of the "ordinary" (to her standards, anyway.) Haruhi had decided that we would once again meet up and do a search for aliens, espers, and time travelers, as usual. It seemed that these little gatherings were more of an excuse to end up getting free food from me than for actually finding anything.

As usual, I ended up sleeping in on that Sunday and made my way to the meeting point about ten minutes late – And as usual, I was given the "death penalty." Sometimes I wonder what that would actually mean if Haruhi carried through with it.

"You're late!" Haruhi said, pointing at me as if I was some criminal who was being examined in a police lineup. "Death penalty!" I sighed, nodding.

"Whatever. Just know what you want by the time we get there." Of course, by this I meant that everyone know what they wanted by the time I had to buy drinks for all of us. It seemed like this was how it always ended up – Sometimes I wonder if Haruhi made everyone else gather early just so it would seem like I'm late. With her, it wouldn't surprise me.

After everyone had finally ordered (Nagato still took ages to decide, by the way,) Haruhi went over the schedule we would be following for the day. Apparently we'd scour the town this time, making sure to not go past the city limits. This was odd for her; why did staying inside mean so much? Would it really matter where something showed up, as long as it was there?

"Kyon, come on! Pick!" Haruhi yelled a little too loud, snapping me out of a daze. I guess I still needed a bit of sleep, even though I woke up so late in the afternoon. I slowly reached out and grabbed one of the many toothpicks she had clenched in her fist – Mine had a red coloring on the end. Haruhi glared at her normal-colored toothpick as if it had just threatened to kill her; the lack of red coloring meant she was with Asahina-san and Koizumi. Why was she always so angry when she wasn't teamed up with me?

"Don't mess around! This isn't playtime!" Haruhi yelled at me with her arms crossed. She gave me the same type of order every time we did this. I nodded, and she turned around and walked off, Asahina-san and Koizumi close behind. Just before they reached the corner to turn out of sight, I could've sworn that I saw Koizumi turn around and give me that "cool guy" smile of his. I still hate that.

"Shall we get going?" I looked down, seeing Nagato standing firmly in place. She didn't look at me, instead just nodding in reply. "Then let's get going. Where would you like to go?" I asked her.

"There is nothing in this town that would interest Haruhi Suzumiya. We can "play around" if you would like." I'd never heard Nagato use those words before, so it was a bit unnerving. What exactly was her definition of playing around?

"… In other words, you'd like to visit the library?" I smiled. She nodded, not stopping her walk. I trailed behind her, trying to remember if we were on the right street to get there. "So, how have things been?" I asked, trying to start a conversation (although I knew it was pointless.)

"Nothing irregular has occurred. All is well." She replied. "Haruhi Suzumiya has not been bored for some time, so things are possibly becoming better." This is probably one of the longest conversations I'd had with her outside of speaking after some kind of disaster or fight.

"Well, that's … Good." I said, having no idea what to say to that. "Read any good books recently?" I knew this would get some kind of reaction from her. Probably.

"No." She said, still not bothering to look at me.

"Well … Oh, we're here." I said as we approached the building. Nagato nodded, walking inside and almost closing the door on my face. I shrugged it off, smiling – The library was like a toy store to her.

Once inside, it didn't take her long to find the science fiction section and grab a stack of rather thick books, somehow easily carrying them across the room to sit next to me on one of the couches. I wondered how she made her way here without them collapsing on her head.

"I wonder what Haruhi's up to." I thought out loud, reaching into my pocket to check my cell. She hadn't sent me any text message, and we still had about an hour before we had to head back. A nap sounds pretty good right now. But then again, isn't that what happened the first time we did this? I almost got us kicked out because of Haruhi's screaming over the phone.

Oh well, screw it. I'm sleepy.

"Wake up."

I slowly opened my eyes, hearing Nagato's quiet voice. I looked over, seeing that the girl's expressionless eyes were staring at me. Back when I first met her, this would be extremely creepy, but now it was quite a nice sight. It seems she never bothered wearing glasses again after I told her she looked better without them.

"What time is it?" I asked her. She held up my open cell phone close to my face so I could read the text on the screen – I was already in mid-call from Haruhi.

"GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE NOW, YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE AN HOUR LATE!" Haruhi screamed through the phone, causing the entire library to turn and stare at me. I quickly snatched the phone out of Nagato's hand, fumbling it around awkwardly before finally getting it closed. I sighed, looking over where Nagato's book stack used to be; it was gone, all except for two.

"Should we go check them out for you?" I asked. She shook her head slowly.

"No need. I have already done so." She replied. I stood up, stretching my arms and trying my best to stifle my yawn. I thanked God that I remembered to turn my phone on vibrate, because Haruhi called me immediately after I hung up on her. Ignoring the vibration in my pocket, I quickly motioned Nagato out of the library, those two books held firmly to her chest.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW STUPID YOU ARE!" Haruhi yelled when the two of us got back. Nagato didn't say a word, and I couldn't say anything; Haruhi wouldn't give me a second to get anything in edgewise. "You're buying us lunch for the rest of the year!" Haruhi didn't yell this time, but she still looked extremely pissed off. You'd think I would've learned by now how to handle her, but like I said, she amazed me every time.

"Thanks to Kyon making us late yet again, we'll have to make our second rounds a lot faster today." Haruhi said, glaring at me as we all sat in a restaurant. "Forget the toothpicks this time; I'm going with Kyon already." She said, getting no reaction from the other three. "I have to make sure you don't mess up again." She said, punching my shoulder a bit harder than she should have.

"Ouch …" I mumbled as I rubbed it in pain. "Why are you so set on going with me?" I asked. She didn't reply; instead, she just began sucking down her drink as if it was the last liquid she would ever get in her life. "Just forget it." I muttered.

Instead of staying inside town this time, Haruhi demanded we get as far out as possible, but not too far as to get lost. I don't know how any of us could possibly get lost after doing this for so long (then again, I also wondered why the hell we still did these little searches.)

"So, what were you and Yuki doing?" Haruhi asked, stretching her arms as we walked down the sidewalk. "Goofing off, I assume." I sighed, shaking my head.

"We weren't goofing off." I replied. She turned, giving me that same finger point from before.

"Don't lie to me, Kyon! The Brigade chief can tell when her minions are lying, and you're fibbing pretty badly right now!" She said. Something told me she thought I'd fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness, which of course was _not_ going to happen.

"Alright, alright … Nagato and I went to the library for a while, but just because it was better than-" Haruhi cut me off by slapping me hard on the cheek.

"It's better than what, huh? Reading crummy books with Yuki is better than looking for espers? Is that it?" She had her hands on her hips, looking a lot angrier than earlier. I shook my head, trying to open my mouth to protest, but nothing would come out.

"We were just waiting after we finished looking." I said. I knew that sounded lame, but it was all that I could come up with. I also knew there's no way in hell that she would believe me, and of course, she didn't.

"Don't feed me that bull! I know you would rather hang in a stupid library than help me!" She said. "Well don't even bother showing up in the club room anymore! As from this point on, you are NO LONGER A MEMBER OF THE SOS BRIGADE!" And with that, she turned and walked off. I didn't move a muscle.

That wasn't the usual Haruhi. The Haruhi Suzumiya I know would've just hit me and kept going forward. The Haruhi I know would never have kicked anyone out of her precious SOS Brigade.

The Haruhi Suzumiya I know wouldn't cry.

---

Okay, I've noticed a few things after reading this again. I know some of you might say that Haruhi acted very out of character around the end, which is true, but it's a setup for the future. You'll understand when the time comes. A friend of mine said that I haven't perfected Kyon's attitude, so hopefully that's something I can fix up by the next chapter.

Please ignore any errors/typos.

**Also**: I also said this in a Lucky Star story of mine, I have a story blog now which has updates of stories here and other places I post, and also news on when a story is coming along, or when a chapter's in progress, etc. However, the blog is mainly for Lemons (erotic fanfiction,) so you've been warned.

http : // lemonfullife (dot) wordpress (dot) com

If you do decide to visit, drop me a comment, vote in a poll, or tell me what you wanna read next. I won't know what to push out if I don't know what people want from me. All I ask is that you don't ask me when/if I'm going to update a story, as that's a waste of both your time and mine and I'll just delete them. Information will be posted as soon as I know. You'll know when I do.

(I checked and saw nothing in the guide lines that said I couldn't do this. If someone official is reading this, please inform me so I can take this part down before my account gets deleted.)


	2. Chapter 2

"You are NO LONGER A MEMBER OF THE SOS BRIGADE!"

Haruhi's words rang through my mind for the rest of the day, and late into the night. When I met up with Nagato, Asahina-san, and Koizumi later that day, none of us exchanged a word – It's like they somehow knew what had happened when they saw that Haruhi wasn't next to me.

Haruhi was absent from school the next day. I halfway expected this, so it wasn't too much of a shock. I considered not going to the club room at all, but there was someone I needed to talk to. For some reason, I didn't even bother knocking; I grabbed the doorknob and just strolled right in. Even though she wasn't in class, I was surprised to see Haruhi sitting behind the computer. As usual, Nagato was sitting in the corner with a book on her lap.

"Get the hell out of here, Kyon. You're not welcome here." Haruhi said when I placed my backpack down. I refused to move another step.

"How long have you been in here?" I asked. This must've been an acceptable question, as Haruhi actually looked up from the computer to face me.

"All day, is that a problem?" She asked. I shook my head, not really wanting to speak to her anymore. Looking at Nagato, I saw that she was pointing at the door, as if asking me to leave. I sighed, grabbing my backpack and leaving the room, closing the door behind me. I wasn't in the mood for Suzumiya's crap anyway.

"Stop." I turned, seeing that Nagato was behind me. "I need to talk to you about something." She spoke again, tugging on my sleeve. "Please follow me." I didn't have any reason to object, so I did as she asked. Shortly after, she had led me to a deserted set of stairs. I sat down next to her.

"What's up?" I asked, looking at her. She shook her head.

"Haruhi Suzumiya does not hate you. She is jealous." Nagato said, as if that was a perfectly normal statement.

"Jealous?" I asked, knowing I must have looked very confused. "What the hell did I do this time?"

"Because you and I spent time at the library, Haruhi Suzumiya thinks that we have a relationship. She is afraid that something will develop and she will lose contact with you." Nagato continued. "She is becoming nervous. That is beginning to make things unstable."

"I can vouch for that."

Koizumi had appeared behind us, that usual smile on his face.

"Suzumiya's pretty mad, Kyon. Whatever you did, you should probably go apologize to her. There's already a large risk of closed space appearing." He said.

"But what the hell did I do?!" I asked, becoming a little annoyed now. I didn't do anything wrong, and now Haruhi's acting like I insulted her mother or something.

"I'm not sure what exactly did it, although Nagato's explanation seems spot-on." He nodded. "I'm not sure when you'll ever be able to speak to her again, since she's this angry."

"Goddamn it …" I muttered, placing my hand over my face and sighing deeply. "Why do I always have to get involved her in crap?"

"Because she chose-" Koizumi started to say that sentence I've heard time and time again, but I cut him off.

"I don't care that she chose me. I don't give a damn that she's so freaking unstable." I said. His smile didn't change.

"Although you might not, we certainly have to." He said. "Shall I beg you for mercy?"

"Don't waste your breath." I replied, standing up and dusting off my pants. "I'll go get this over with."

I began walking back to the club room, but stopped about halfway. During my walk, I had time to think about things. I didn't really care about Haruhi much besides this whole world destruction thing. Kissing her was just some fluke to save our lives, and seeing her cry was more disturbing than saddening. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with the girl. But it seemed like that's what Koizumi wanted - Ain't gonna happen, man.

As I opened the door to the club room once more, I saw that Asahina-san was at the table beginning to brew tea, and Haruhi hadn't moved from her spot at the computer.

"Haruhi, come with me. We have to talk." I said, getting no response from her. "Come on Haruhi, this is important."

"I don't care what you think, Kyon." Haruhi said. "Why don't you go read a damn book or something?"

Okay, that's it. Now I'm pissed.

I walked over, grabbing her and holding her over my shoulder as I walked from the room, Haruhi kicking her legs and slamming her fists as she tried to break my grip. When we left the room, I sat her down.

"What the hell do you want? I told you I don't-" She started, but froze when I pulled her into a hug. Her eyes widened during the whole thing, and she stared at me when I released her.

"I wanted to apologize." I said. "I just couldn't think of any other way to shut you up." I smiled, waiting for a reply. She was silent for a moment.

"You know, I was never really mad at you, Kyon. I just wanted you to go along with it once in a while, you know?" She said, looking away from me.

"Go along with what?" I asked. She turned back, giving me her usual smile.

"Finding aliens, of course! I know we haven't found any yet, but it'll happen!" She said happily. I wasn't sure if that was an "apology accepted" or not, but I didn't care. I said it and she seemed happy again, so the world's safe, right?

Right?

—

Yeah, this chapter kind of makes things go down the Haruhi x Kyon route, which I'm trying to avoid. I tried in chapter three – It didn't turn out perfect, but it established that Kyon ISN'T in love with Haruhi. See Chapter One's ending notes for my blog plug, if you'd like.


	3. Chapter 3

Haruhi must've been content, as the next day I was told by Koizumi that everything seemed just fine again. I was "allowed" back into the club room, and was once again part of Haruhi's schemes. I also got to see Asahina-san in that maid costume again.

I actually did miss that.

Koizumi and I played checkers as Nagato sat next to me, observing us instead of reading. Haruhi had cleaning duty, and Asahina-san had something to attend to, so she wouldn't be joining us today. A true pity, really.

"So how are things?" I asked. Koizumi shook his head.

"No problems as of yet – Looks like your little hug did the trick. Are you sure you don't need to just confess?" He smiled, laughing a bit. Jerk.

"There's no need to confess something that isn't true." I said as I moved a piece forward, jumping over one of his. "I don't think I have time for a girlfriend after all of the crap Haruhi's put me through. If I got one she could accidentally die or something."

"That would not happen." Nagato spoke up for the first time today. "I told you, I would no longer let harm come to you." She wouldn't let anyone hurt me, but she seemed like she'd let a girlfriend drop dead.

"Should we call it quits for today?" Koizumi asked as he jumped my last piece, winning the game. Luck was all that was.

"I guess, but I'm surprised she isn't-"

"I'm here!" Haruhi cut me off by kicking the door in, dragging a crying Asahina-san behind her. "It took me a while to find her this time!" I'm surprised that Asahina-san hasn't reported her by now, God knows I would've …

"Why do you keep kidnapping her?" I asked, already knowing it was a stupid question. Haruhi dropped the girl as she kept walking, as if she were her bag. The poor girl isn't an object, ya know.

"I don't kidnap Mikuru, she comes on her own. I just have to remind her." Haruhi said, walking by me and taking her seat at the front of the room, propping her legs up on her desk. "So, what's on the agenda for today?"

"That's usually your call." I replied, sighing and resting my head on my palm. I'm sure that whatever it is, it'll either be stupid or just damn strange. Why am I here again …? Someone, please remind me.

"Hm … Well, it's a little too hot outside to do any searching, plus the lack of time…" She seemed to be rambling, as if she was hoping one of us would pipe up with an idea - Of course, no one did. I was bored, Koizumi kept on smiling, Nagato had her nose in a book, and Asahina was still shaking from her previous abduction. "Aha! I got it!" Haruhi said, slamming her fist on her desk.

"… Okay then, let's have it." I said, the rest of us looking at her. The smile on her face was so wide that you'd think this was her first idea ever. Maybe it'll be her first normal one?

"We'll have a weekend picnic!" She said excitedly.

Well, I'll be damned - A normal idea.

"Kyon can cook and bring some food, Mikuru-chan can make tea …" She started to list commands, but I quickly cut her off.

"Whoa there; what makes you think I can cook?" I asked. She ignored me, continuing her command list. Nagato was in charge of dessert food, and Koizumi had to bring plates, cups, that sort of thing. What was Haruhi's job, you ask?

I bet you can guess.

Yup – Not a damn thing. Some "leader" she is.

It wasn't long after this that we were all dismissed, not speaking to one another as we all parted ways. Koizumi waved at me, flashing that stupid smile of his. Do I even consider that guy my friend…?

Well, now we have something to do - The first annual SOS Brigade picnic. Of course, we weren't told exactly where or when this would happen, and I'm sure Haruhi just assumed we could all read her mind - Makes me wonder if Nagato or the others actually _could_. Turns out, the plan was quite simple after all – Under a tree behind the school around noon, Saturday afternoon.

You know, there are times when I thought Haruhi couldn't act any dumber than she already does once in a while. I didn't think that her stupid rules applied to every single thing we did. When I arrived around 12:02 that day, you can guess the two words that flew from her mouth.

"Death Penalty!"

What the hell- She didn't tell me there was a late penalty, and we weren't doing any searching today. Besides, what can I actually go buy when everything we need is right here?

"As punishment, you have to serve everyone. Chop chop, servant boy!" Haruhi said, clapping her hands. I sighed, shaking my head as I grabbed some paper plates from the blanket we were all sitting on. God damn it, Haruhi …

After everyone finished eating (it was quite good, if I do say so,) Haruhi stood and gave us all another one of her "brilliant idea" looks. Oh joy.

"Now it's time for some games!" She said happily. What could we play here? Kick the tree? I wish I'd have just left right then.

"The contest of who can clean up after us the fastest! The contestants will be Mikuru-chan and … That twig!" She pointed to a stick next to her foot, which she kicked away. "Scratch that, just Mikuru-chan! Loser has to serve us for a year!" Didn't Asahina do that every day already? And what did the winner get?

It was damn adorable watching Asahina-san fumble around the blanket, trying to pick everything up as fast as possible, tripping multiple times and getting caught in the blanket, crying in frustration. I wanted to run out and grab her, but I knew that I'd regret it. Haruhi would probably cause the next ice age or something.

"You have some rice on your chin."

I looked over, seeing Nagato holding a napkin. Before I could reply, she cleaned my face for some reason, giving me a nod as she stuffed the napkin into her pocket. I felt my face go a little red as I turned away from her – Okay, I guess even Nagato has her cute moments.

"Go, Mikuru-chan! Clean that filth!" Haruhi was cheering Asahina-san on, pumping her fist in the air as Asahina tried to clean even faster. "If you don't speed it up, you'll be the laughingstock of the entire SOS Brigade!"

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

God damn it, Haruhi.

---

I tried to pull AWAY from a Haruhi and Kyon thing. Chapter two AND three are rushed and not that great, but … Eh.


End file.
